Zades: one shots
by mader.for.writing
Summary: A collection of one shots done by someone who believed that her favourite ship deserved better. These will vary in what they are about and I am sooo sorry if you find some of the characters quite ooc! Please feel free to review and leave me requests or even PM me any that you have. I love hearing Feedback


**Ello! This is a series of Zades one shots which may have some link together or they may not I haven't decided yet if any will have multiple sections or not.**

 **I do not own any of the characters in this chapter apart from Timmy (Donovan) Madison and Ilya are both creations of some very splendid and fabulous people I know (love ya 2)**

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Time seemed to have quickened and suddenly the clock behind the bar read 1 o'clock rather than 11 o'clock, by that point I had forgotten how many drinks I had actually had and the room had started spinning even though I was sat down. Even a blind man would be able to tell I was drunk.

I waved my hand at the women behind the bar signalling for her to come over, she sighed and headed over to me placing her dish cloth down as she came. Half of her blonde locks had been shaved off revealing a small vine tattoo wrapping around the back of her neck and rising up wards. Her eyes were blue, not a bright blue but a subtle pale one that reminded me of the sky on a summer's day. She looked rather intimidating to me in my intoxicated state, but I had liquid courage on my side and the air of tension didn't seem to faze me much.

"Lara my friend are you any good at listening?" she scowls at my use of the word 'friend' but props her elbows up on the counter all the same waiting for me to continue.

"Sooooo my day, has been the day from hell" I let out a laugh banging my hand down on the table in amusement.

"Get it hell" I am still laughing but suddenly stop when I notice the raised eyebrow I was being given by Lara, I pout hiccupping.

"But anyways, my day was fine it was just splendid and then you know what happened? I died, don't ask how, cause I don't have a clue but somehow me and my familyyyy are now de-e-a-ddd" I start laughing again unable to control the laughter through the haziness in my mind.

"And you know what happens next my family find out that my true love isn't dead and this is funny cause I killed him, I stabbed him like this-" then my drunken self-starts pretending to stab myself through the chest laughing. "But he ain't dead, and then you know what else happens?"

"Unicorns started falling from the sky breathing out rainbows and you all danced in the rainbows holding hands singing zip e de do dah?" I start laughing waving my hand through the air.

"No that's ridiculous, my daughter tried to kill my sister, and my sister tried to kill my daughter but didn't know she was trying to kill my daughter, and then they found out my daughter is a demigod that can't be killed and that she is my daughter and then they got annoyed that I hadn't told them, then they found out the last thing I told my true love was that I didn't love him and I only came down here to forget him. This annoyed them because they thought he was the reason we are down here, but he isn't so that means someone else killed us all and this is really not funny but for some reason I can't stop laughing." I couldn't stop laughing and by this point the laughter was slowly turning into sobs and before I knew it I was crying uncontrollably and Lara had reached over to hand me a tissue.

"Th- thank ou La- larie you're an ood friend" This earns me another scowl and an eye roll, I hiccup just then and I watch as Lara seems to realise something.

"Your true love you said your daughter was a demigod, does this mean he is a god?" I shrug resting my head on the table pulling a fresh glass of alcohol towards me nursing it like a life vest.

"Hades" Her eyes widen as she suddenly bolts upright hurrying over to the telephone on the wall dialling a number very quickly, she speaks into it hurriedly her eyes flitting between me and the door, before hanging up and coming over to me again trying to pry the drink out of my hands.

"Nooo" I cling onto it sending a glare towards her pulling the glass closer to me.

"I won't hesitate to send a fire ball at you, you wanna be balled? Fired? Oh what the hell I will still fire ball you" She rolls her eyes relinquishing her grip on the glass her eyes flicking up the look at something behind me breathing a sigh of relief.

"If I had known who she was before I never would have given her one drink let alone however many more she's had" Lara spoke these words to someone behind me, whoever she had phoned I figured and I spun around in my seat giggling as it went.

"Its fine Lara, I know how she can be remember" his voice is oddly familiar but for the life of me I could not seem to remember who it belonged to, all my mind could produce was a hazy image of what looked to be a winged monkey.

"That's fun and who are you?" I reach a hand out to stop myself as my eyes land on a man just behind me clearly the man Lara was just talking to. He had brown hair that was swept to one side of his face, but it wasn't a dark brown it was light almost as if the sun had brightened it by accident. He had piercing green eyes that stood out against his pale skin. In my state my thoughts were filled with a lot of random things but one of them was a solid thought, _he was cute,_ it made me bend over and start laughing again.

"My names Donovan remember Zelena" I wave, at least I try to wave it probably looked more like I was shaking hands with thin air than waving at someone.

"How does you knows meh….-"she frowns slightly her eyes going blurry as she struggles to keep upright due to her drunk state. "- anyways it's a pleasure to meet you Timmy" This time I really did stick my hand out for this new guy to shake it and he took it spinning me back around to the bar at the same time sitting on a stool beside me turning his attention back to Lara, laughing silently.

"How many has she actually had? I mean if she can't remember me and all the… things we did together then I'm guessing at least 6" A frown appears on my face again as his words slightly register still unable to work out how I knew his voice. I start trying to count holding my fingers out in front of me.

"1, 4 no that's wrong 1,2,6 no still wrong… umm not many" I frown looking over in time to see Lara mouthing something at the man, what was his name again, Timmy, Jimmy no that doesn't sound right, Donnie ah that sounds better, when suddenly I realise where I know him from.

"Tacos!" I yell grinning at Donovan, who only shakes his head letting out a soft chuckle glad I had finally remembered who he was.

"What is going on here?" I jump up out of my seat almost falling over as I do so, turning to look at where the voice had come from groaning as I saw its owner.

"Why, why are you here?" He raises an eyebrow, pointing over at the man who I had decided was to be called Timmy till I figured out his real name, which had once again slipped from my mind.

"Donovan called me, told me there was a red head in a bar that was supposedly very drunk." I shrug putting on my best 'no idea what you're talking about' expression and totally failing at it.

"Two things, one that's Timmy not Donnie and secondly I am not drunk so wrong bar." Hades reaches over and moves my finger to actually point at the man his eyebrow still raised.

"Clearly" I stick my bottom lip out, shrugging.

"This is a free place I can have one, or two drinks if I so please to" Timmy shakes his head clearly amused by the entire situation and Lara whispers something to Hades before turning and walking away.

"One or two sure, but the amount of glasses behind you suggest one or two went out the window a while ago." I turn squinting at the glasses behind me, confused.

"I see two maybe you just need some glasses"

"Or maybe you are just drunk, now come on I'm taking you to one of my spare rooms so you can sleep this off" He reaches over and grabs my arm helping me stand up but I yank my arm back turning to face Timmy.

"Wait you sold me out, Jimmy how could you, did you forget our little pact?!" He starts to laugh at this shaking his head pointing behind me at Hades and I turn to look at him.

"Hades is my boss, I had to tell him, and no I did not forget the pact it does not count in this instant." I pout crossing my arms, grinning wickedly as I suddenly realise just how much I can annoy hades with what I now remember.

"Aw damn it Hades, and to think I thought you were cute Donnie. Did all those years we spent together mean nothing to you?" Hades rolls his eyes moving back to stand beside me.

"What pact? You know what never mind I'm not sure you really want to know how you two know each other. Zelena, come on" I grin moving to sit back down again straightening my back slightly and folding my arms over my chest in defiance.

"Are you sure you don't want to hear all the details about how me and Timmy over there go wayyyy back… like not as wayyy back as you are old cause that's like dinosaur ages but still… way back when I was in oz he annoyed me and we all know that's idiotic and stupid but he was cute-"I turn and mouth 'you still are' winking too Donovan and I grin as I notice Hades shake his head displeased. "Anyways about 3… maybe 5 seconds later he was flapping like this-" I begin to do a very very bad impersonation of a monkey flapping its wings above me and then I stop sighing "he was a monkey just as all the other men or even women who annoyed me became… alas this poor beast right here was cute so I changed him back and may or may not have showed him just how wicked I can be… in bed." I hear Donnie mutter something from beside me and I swat my hand in his direction letting him know I heard the 'uh-oh'. Hades looks at me shaking his head slowly but I can already see the faint glimmer of jealousy cropping up in his eyes and I can't help but start laughing.

"I will just pick you up and carry you back there, or you could walk." I cross my arms again sticking my chin up in the air glaring at him, just in time to catch him sigh and start walking towards me.

"NO!" My efforts of escape were futile because Hades had already reached me, picking me up and putting me over his shoulder as I sighed letting my body flop.

"Timmyyyy save me" Hades lets out a small laugh as he turns too look at Donovan "If you even agree to help I'll throw you in the river of souls." The statement makes me roll my eyes as a struggle to break free from his grip.

"I'm quaking with fear… sorry Zel but it appears this time I won't be able to save you although… last time I did it was very enjoyable, what was it you said again. Save me Donovan I need you." I hear a slight growl emit from beneath me and I grin, oh Donovan was good at this, he seemed to have caught on too what I was doing.

"I do believe it was you begging that time actually. I do believe you were the one that practically had me pinned against the wall, or did I dream that…" I frown before it slowly morphs into a wicked smirk winking at Donovan as he grins back shaking his head. "Zelena don't do it… I believe were your exact words…. I need you Zel ple-"My words were cut off as a hand clamps down over my mouth.

"Shut up Zelena" I grin as best I can with the hand still grasped over my mouth as I recognise the voice tilting my head to the side staring straight into Hades eyes just able to catch the last of his eye roll. I raise an eyebrow narrowing my eyes slightly and he merely shakes his head well aware of what it meant.

"Nope" I lower my eyebrow glaring at him grinning as a wicked glint appeared in my eyes, and I watch as he gives me an unimpressed look back.

"Don't you dare" I shrug, he knew full well I would do it anyways if he didn't remove his hand soon, he shakes his head.

"No" I wait all of three seconds before biting down hard on the hand around my mouth grinning as he removes his hand pulling it towards him annoyed.

"Hey!" I put on an innocent expression before I stick my tongue out at him grinning.

"I warned you" He looks at me clearly pissed off and I arch my eyebrow again leaning my elbows on his shoulders and turning my head back around only too come face to face with Donovan again who wore a very confused expression.

"Have I gone deaf?" I shake my head as I burst into another fit of laughter lifting a hand too point at him before lowering it again a flopping over hades shoulder laughing harder.

"Your face- you look- soo confused-"I can't stop myself now and I descend into another fit of giggles as Hades sighs turning around too look at Donovan.

"Know Zelena as long as I have and it won't take you long to work out how to read her expressions." I strain my neck twisting it round slightly to look at Donovan grinning as he winks at me.

"I only payed attention to the specific ones the: Now. Please just do it. And then there was the Shut up an-" his words were cut off as Hades waves his hand and Donovan grabs at his throat his lips still moving but no sound coming out.

"Pluto!" I cry out trying to reach around his too smack his arm but failing instead shuffling slightly and leaning to the side knowing it would hurt just as much.

"He deserved it" I roll my eyes the effort to argue slowly drifting away as I yawn the effects of the amount of alcohol I had consumed slowly filtering their way into my system.

"Give it back now and take me away if you must" Even without being able to see I could tell he had grinned as I hear a sigh of relief from behind me emitting from Donovan indicating he'd been given his voice back.

I jolt goes through me as Hades suddenly turns around and starts heading for the door and I lift my head up waving "Bye friends I miss you already" Donovan lets out a slight laugh as Lara simply rolls her eyes at the term 'friends' before turning around and getting back to her work and Hades shuts the door behind us.

It wasn't a very long trip back to Hades lair but it felt like longer due to the fact the entire trip was made in sullen silence, to the point where I started singing a nursery rhyme just to break the silence.

"Zelena what are you doing?" I couldn't tell if he was amused or annoyed by my sudden outburst of a very bad version of wheels on the broomstick.

"Singing" We had finally reached the centre of the throne room now and Hades carefully set me down on my feet letting go of me just as I went crashing to the ground in a fit of giggles. As soon as I had stopped giggling I looked up frowning as above me was the upside down face of Hades and another one a girl who I hadn't heard entering, she had red hair and looked about 18, it took me a minute to figure out who she was.

"Ah a daughter or mine! Which one are you again? And why are you both upside down, and why are the walls such a dark colour?" She turns to look at Hades and it is as if they are communicating through telepathy or something, they probably are.

"The walls are fine Zelena, and that's Madison remember also we aren't upside down you're on the floor the wrong way round." I start laughing again because she had sounded very much like Hades then when I realised it was Hades who had spoken and I stopped laughing. Frowning up at the celling I raise a hand sending a flare of magic towards it and when it hits the walls turn green.

"That's better." I smile sitting up and waving at Madison.

"Hey you're not upside down anymore! Bonus!" She laughs.

"Your drunk" I shake my head.

"Am not" She raises an eyebrow but makes no move to counter my argument.

I stand up the room around me spinning, causing the walls to look as if they are melting together and I reach a hand out to steady myself only to have it continue reaching for thin air and my legs to slip out from beneath me as I go plummeting to the uneven ground again. It takes me a minute to recover from the sudden rushing of air leaving my body but I quickly blink back the white spots squinting up at the disapproving face of Hades.

"So you're not drunk? I suppose you just so happened to trip on something then did you?" I shake my head standing up slower this time, able to right myself before I fall again.

"Don't be silly the floor just looked to need some company?" my voice was incredibly high pitched and uneven, clearly a sign I was lying and anyone could see that. A laugh from behind me startled me and I turned my head to see Madison trying her best not to laugh, failing miserably. I grin at her stretching my arms out before moving to sit down on the closet chair to me, which just so happened to be Hades throne and suddenly Madison stopped laughing, well aware that I may be blasted to smithereens in a minute, no one sits on this throne unless they are Hades or his children and I am neither.

"Get off the throne Zelena" I fold my arms in defiance watching as he turns his soft gaze to an ice cold one turning his head to look at me.

"I shall not." Madison stands there her eyes flitting between me and Hades amused, waiting, probably to see what he will do to me if I continue to ignore his request.

"I will personally remove you from it, now off and turn the walls back" I shake my head trying my best to match Hades firm stare with one of my own, it probably looked more like I had something in my eye though because I heard a faint sniggering coming from Madison.

"What ou doing Momma?" I snap my head to side reaching up the press a hand to my temple groaning in pain before my vision solidifies again and I peer at the little girl that had appeared beside Madison, it was Ilya.

"Nothing, just sitting down" there was a slight hint of mischief in my tone now and I saw Hades squint at me trying to work out what I was thinking of doing now. I may have been drunk but I could tell he was slightly annoyed at the fact that Ilya had already taken to referring to me as 'momma' even though he must believe I was nothing to her right now.

"But that's daddy's throne only me and sissy are 'llowed to sit on it apart from him, cause it's his special chair" I grin at her standing up slowly, watching from the corner of my eye as Madison moves to sit on it instead and Hades expression becomes more confused as I walk forwards more.

"I know, now I am off to bed, sleep off whatever this is that has happened to me, cause I swear I ain't drunk" I put my hands up in a mock surrender slowly backing down the steps towards the corridor I knew was behind me.

"Zelena the walls… and wait where are you going spare rooms are the other way… ZELENA" I ignored Hades shouts of protests as I turned and started sprinting towards the door behind me, the all too familiar door, looking back in time to see him start walking after me and catching a glimpse of Madison and Ilya bent over in a fit of giggles.

"Have mercy on me, I'm only the drunk witch." I yell back grinning as the laughter gets louder and I open the door crashing through it and running to jump on the bed burrowing under the covers only leaving my eyes in view of the door. It took about a minute but suddenly a figure appeared a little out of breath but not nearly as much as I was, looking very annoyed.

"Out" I shook my head tightening my hold on the covers grinning.

"Never" I watched as he shook his head moving further into the room stopping just above me as I uncurled myself from the ball of covers around my smiling up at him.

"Go find one of the spare rooms" I pout, rolling over onto my back and into the middle of the bed just out of reach in case he decides to try and pick me up again.

"No, your bed is much comfier"

"Exactly my bed now out" I shake my head again sticking my bottom lip out, knowing it won't have the same effect as the one Madison and Ilya can do but it'll work just the same. Eventually the coldness in his gaze starts to slip away and he sighs shaking his head before turning off the light making a move too leave.

"Wait." His silhouette stops and I squint barely able to make out his figure in the darkness just catching a glimpse of his hand resting on the doorknob.

"Yes Zelena?" he turns his head to look at me and I sit up looking straight at where I figured he must be.

"Stay with me."

"What?" There is confusion laced in his words and I tilt my head to the side pulling the covers off from the empty space next to me.

"Please" if I had of been sober I probably wouldn't have noticed but it almost looked like he smiled for a second before I heard the door shut plunging me into darkness at the small fragments of light which had been leaking in through the small opening in the door were cut off. I shut my eyes and waited for the sound of his feet echoing on the marble passage way outside but no footsteps came, instead I felt a small dip in the bed beside me and the distant thud of his shoes being discarded beside him.

"Thank you" I smile turning to look at where he was as I faintly make out his eyes in the darkness and I can just about see the corner of his lips turn up in a slightly smile.

"Sleep Zelena" I hear the bed creak once more as he lays down on his side facing into the middle of the bed and I sigh laying my head back on the pillow before slowly turning onto my side and pressing my back against his chest snuggling my head down further into the pillow. A few seconds later I feel an arm snake its way around my waist and I smile slightly as he slips an arm beneath my head resting it on the pillow just in front of me and I reach and hand over take it in my own.

"Goodnight Hades" I close my eyes again a small smile still present on my lips as I pull the covers around me again the last buzz of the alcohol still whirring.

"Goodnight Zelena…" He whispers as he shuffles slightly before closing his eyes and letting the familiar tug of sleep pull him down with me.


End file.
